I Feel Weirdly

My family and I just recently returned to the States after two years abroad and find that we feel weird here. Also, we forgot some things that we now find amazing. This list is bound to grow, but here is a start.

The list of what we missed:

Real Oreos -we missed you
10 movies at the theatre, all in English
No assigned seating at the theatre -sit where you want!
Wendy's Frosty and a small French fry
Traffic rules -real one's. "that guy let me in!"
A gallon of milk! Hell-o!
Bagel's!
Cream Cheese!
Parks everywhere!
Libraries where I can read every book!
My new coffee maker can make 14 cups of coffee. That's 12 more than I'm used too. Haven't slept well in days and I'm not sure why.
Turkey. Sandwich. With. Spicy. Mustard.
Fast Internet :) I gain hours every day due to the speed.



The list of how we feel strange

As my wife walked to the gas station, cars stopped and asked her if she needed a ride in a sort of, "are you homeless?" Way.
A guy just cut in front of me in line and I didn't notice
Same guy apologized, sincerely. Made me forget what I was standing in line for.
I get flustered in the grocery store trying to learn what everything is. Takes 30 minutes to buy milk.
Why doesn't anyone make eye contact with me? I'm used to being stared at, now I can't GET stared at. Wassup?
I unknowingly cut in front of everyone at the Best Buy checkout counter and got yelled at by, well, a lot of people. They yelled nice though.
My wife was denied a library card. Explaining that we just came back from overseas wasn't enough for her.
Later, after finding a way to get a card, I successfully negotiated with the librarian to increase the number of books we could check out. I could tell she felt like she had committed a dirty sin by giving in.
I am terrified of US police officers now, and I don't know why, and only drive in the 9 and 3 position.
I cut a lady off (apparently) yesterday and didn't notice, not was I concerned after I realized she was saying mean things to me (It's necessary in Asia to cut people off)
I'm afraid to drink tap water. Everyone says its ok, but I can't believe it yet.
Walking on the grass produces hurricane force anxiety in me. I'm sure I will step on poop (either dog or human).
For some reason talking to groups here feels like I am talking to foreigners.
I'm definitely not used to seeing people "show their power" by enforcing rules.
McDonald's doesn't deliver, so that's out
It took a total of ten seconds in church to greet the people around me and never tell them my name or learn theirs. I felt confused. It all happened so fast.
Does anyone own a bike here?
Does anyone even live here? Where are all the people?
I can tell that people don't like me staring at them. I can't help it though, and it's not all bad. I won a staring contest today with a nice young boy and his large middle finger. He blinked first.

More to come probably...